Rhodes Island: Doctor's Notes
by Toruushin
Summary: A list of entries regarding the Doctor's multiple encounters with Rhodes Island Operators, Penguins, Knights, Fish, and too many others. (Note: Reading these logs may result in a loss of sanity. Please ensure proper recuperative measures are prepared beforehand.)
1. Cardigan

"D-Doctor…" Merry quietly whimpered, tongue lolled out as she panted on all fours. Her cheeks were flushed in a cherry-red blush, tail quivering from the very stimulus that was practically driving her instincts mad. "W-we can't do this! This is too much for me to handle! C-can't you please hurry and do it-?!"

"Shhhhhhh…" The light-haired Perro felt a shiver run across her back as the Doctor softly reassured her, his masked visage reflecting her embarrassing image right back at her. "This is simply a harmless experiment, Operator Cardigan. A little something that can benefit you and me. Nothing more will come after this."

"B-b-but I want more!" The usually peppy Operator whined, her mouth practically salivating at the sight of the long, hard object the Doctor was holding. Her mind was barely even coherent, a fog of pure doggy instinct kicking aside any remains of Cardigan's previous lucidity. Her eyes were only directed to the object the Doctor was holding in his hand.

That long...hard..._thing._

She wanted it.

She _needed it_.

At this point, she would do anything to have it in her mouth aga—!

"Do you want it?" Doctor waggled it right before her very eyes, causing her inner puppy to fully fracture what was left of her pride.

'_Yes, yes, yes!'_ Cardie gave a huge doggy smile, panting even harder as her tail wagged.

"Do you _really _want it?"

'_Oh yes! Give it to me!'_

"Alright then...here it comes—!"

Afterwards, Merry felt like she was flying.

* * *

**Doctor's Findings: Testing with Operator Cardigan has proved that, despite her humanoid traits and higher intelligence compared to her canine ancestors, Perro still share some latent instincts with the latter. As proven by the reaction Cardigan had when she was given a stimulus of an object and the command 'fetch,' it can be implied that with enough stimulation, many other Ancients could potentially have some degree of fallback to their more feral traits. Further permission for testing will be required.**

**Kal'sit: Permission denied. Stop wasting resources on pointless ventures. _Our_ Operators are not your pets. Kindly not take advantage of an Operator's inebriated state next time it occurs.**

**As for whoever is responsible for putting the missing kohl into Cardigan's drink, know that I'm watching you.**

**Amiya: Doctor, that drink was meant for you!**


	2. Fang

"Say, Fang? Is it not a fact that the sky is blue?"

The blue-haired lancer gave a puzzled look to the Doctor, setting aside a few papers that would need to be worked on later. Ever so the reliable assistant, Fang continued to file various documents without a pause, all while giving her response.

"I presume it would be? While I'm far from an expert on the more scientific details on the subject, we look at the sky practically every day in our lives. It's been blue for as long as I can remember, so I don't think there really any other answer except 'yes.' Why do you ask, Doctor?"

"Oh, it is nothing. Nothing at all. Just a little something to... sate my curiosity."

At that, Fang mentally shrugged to herself. It was probably just something trivial. Instructor Dobermann did mention that despite his appearances, the Doctor had a purpose to any action that he took. While she did hear rumors of the rather strange dealings he did with Miss Closure (something about cookies?), the most recent event involving Cardigan (who hadn't left her room for a day now), and a few other…._questionable_ subjects, Fang opted to have faith in her Instructor, therefore having faith in the Doctor as well.

Despite his eccentricities, Fang found her tenure as the Doctor's current assistant to be a rather enjoyable one. The man himself was kind, albeit a bit ominous with his refusal to take off his mask or hood, making for great company during the, occasionally boring, schedule of Rhodes Island's more calmer days.

'_Doctor's probably just trying to make some conversation to lighten the moot. It's very thoughtful of him; I'll have to follow his example!'_

A few minutes passed, with nothing but the sounds of ruffling paper and the dull sound of the aircon coming from the ceiling. Then, Doctor decided to break the silence.

"Say, Fang? Don't Kuranta have traits similar to horses?"

At that, Fang paused for a moment, temporarily wondering why in the world would the Doctor ask such an elementary-level question...before quickly finding an answer to that particular question.

'_Ah, it's just probably the amnesia. Amiya did say that Doctor's mind wasn't completely together after his time spent in suspended animation. Even now, despite what many would perceive as an embarrassing situation, Doctor is still willing to ask a Starter like myself for instruction? How humble of him! I must follow his example!'_

"Yes, Doctor. Again, while I am no expert,, as a Kuranta myself, I can confirm my race does have traits which aren't too dissimilar to that of equestrian mammals. While we lack hooves, in part due to our own humanoid physiology, we do share a likeness in both tails and ears, both of which aren't too different, structure-wise, from that of an actual horse. Biologically, we do have to adhere to a vegetarian diet, the same as all other equestrians. Why ask that question Doctor?"

The acting tactician on Rhodes Island shrugged, quickly stamping a recruitment document ready for processing. "Nothing. Just a little...something I wanted to confirm."

Silence quickly reigned again inside the quaint office that the two were working in, Fang having quickly fallen into a rhythm of how she perceived the way the Doctor worked. Even now, as she started to wrap up the final documents necessary for filing for the next assistant, Fang felt that she understood the Doctor more than ever before.

Then, Doctor asked another question.

"Say...Fang? You're biologically similar to a horse, correct?"

"Yes. That's what I mentioned."

"Horses are generally herbivores, correct?"

"Indeed? I'm fairly certain I mentioned this before..."

"Herbivores generally don't have canines, yes?"

"That...would be the general implication…?"

Doctor then cocked his head to the side.

"Then, I've really got to ask...why in the world is _your_ operator codename, '_Fang_?'"

At that, Fang legitimately had no response.

* * *

**Doctor's Log: After today's observation, it can be inferred by the evidence collected from the little 'interview session' I had with Fang, Operator codenames apparently don't have any defined code or structure to the person they represent. Fang is a horse, a herbivore, and a vegetarian.**

**Yet, her name is Fang. More data must be collected for conclusive results!**

**Kal'sit: Request denied. Stop giving our Operators existential crises just because of their names. **


	3. Provence

Ch'en salted my fields. Much sadness today.

* * *

Long. Bushy. Fluffy. The pinnacle of fluffiness. So fluffy, that the word 'fluffy' was an insult in itself.

Indeed, that was the only thing that was coursing through the Doctor's brain in that one very moment, the moment he spotted what could only be his soulmate.

It was truly love at first sight.

"Doctor?"

He gave a muffled response, albeit muffled due to the enormous amount of floofiness covering his face.

"Ahem," Provence coughed into her fist, awkwardly shooting momentary looks towards her tail. Said tail was currently in the greedy possession of one peculiar Doctor of Rhodes Island, where it was being..._inspected_ very thoroughly. "As much as I'm glad you like my tail Doctor, could you please let go right now? We still have work to complete, you know?"

There was a brief silence, before Doctor turned his head to the side, giving only a single response. "This is work. This... is an experiment."

At that, the purple-haired Lupo raised a brow. "_Really_? So it doesn't have anything to do with your personal desires?"

"No. This is an experiment. It is just an experiment to measure your fluffiness," Doctor said as he rubbed his cheek on the Operator's tail. "Nothing more, nothing less."

"You know, any experimenter usually requires permission from their subject to do any form of testing on them, you know? This is technically considered as sexual harassment."

At that Doctor froze, pondering over what Provence just said, a myriad of emotions flashing on his face for one brief moment...before quickly shrugging as he cuddled the massive tail with renewed vigor. "Eh, worth it."

'_He...is such a child. It's actually cute now that I think of it… Are all amnesiacs usually like this?' _

As adorable as it was having the Doctor's attention focused on her extra appendage, it wasn't helping in the slightest in breaking down the, frankly, enormous amount of paperwork that was on the Doctor's desk. It wasn't helping her focus either, with the constant grooming coming from the masked man feeling absolutely _heavenly._

Provence slightly shivered as the medical professional's fingers shifted over a rather… _sensitive_ portion of her tail, barely managing to repress a whine of pleasure from escaping.

"D-Doctor? As much as you like playing with my tail, we still have a lot of work to complete? Could you–~_anh– _l-let go now?"

"I refuse. This experiment is vital for me to obtain an understanding of Terra's ancient races. As I am still recovering from cryostasis, I cannot slack off in my efforts to better myself for the benefit of all of Rhodes Island." Doctor paused, before cuddling his acquired tail with even more fervor. "That, and this is fluffy. I like it."

At that, Provence was ready to give up. Dr. Kal'tsit had warned her that the recently frozen Doctor may have suffered from some degree of brain damage during his term in Chernabog, with some of his eccentricities to be far more pronounced than most people. Provence had understood that, believing that her experience and people skills would be more than enough to handle anything thrown her way.

Never had she expected to be so wrong.

The Lupus bit her lip, pondering on what would be the best way to get the Doctor from clinging on to her...before a terrible idea formed in her mind.

If she had been in a more rational mind, Provence wouldn't have made such a selfish decision in all her years of Catastrophe relief. She would have rebuked her decision-making, shocked that she could even make such a decision just to save her own skin.

Five hours of having a man cling onto her tail like a limpet was just enough to push her over the edge.

"Doctor, you're doing an experiment, right?"

"Yes," replied the muffled voice of the tail-hugger. "What of it?"

'_I'm so sorry everyone!' _Provence quickly threw aside the rebellious guilty thoughts forming in her mind, instead speaking the words that would _undoubtedly_ damn her fellow Lupo, yet save her tail from its clutches. "Wouldn't your answers not be accurate if you limited yourself to only one participant? Shouldn't a statistic like 'fluffiness' be graded by a group, rather than an individual?"

At that, Doctor looked up at Provence, realization appearing on his face(not that Provence could actually see it).

"You're right...I completely forgot! How could I forget such a simple, yet catastrophically consequential, variable?! It would adversely affect the conclusion I can create for this entire scenario!"

At that, Doctor let go of Provence's tail, the latter quickly reclaiming her appendage lest it be abducted again. Determination blazed on the visor of the hooded, masked man as he quickly made his way out of the office, a newfound purpose driving him forward with every step. At the door, the medical professional(?) gave her a look of gratification, much to her chagrin.

"Provence, you have done a good deed. Let it be known that I shall never forget what you have done for me today. Now, I must go! Science must be done, and I shall solve this mystery that plagues me so!"

"Ah. But wait, Doctor, we still have—!"

The door was suddenly slammed shut, leaving a clearly frazzled Provence behind.

"—work to complete... Oh dear. What have I done?"

* * *

**Doctor's Log: Experiment halted due to unforeseen variables involving an angry green-haired cat, a little red riding hood, and a massive demon-draconian that the former summoned.**

**Further study will be required.**

**Amiya: Doctor, please remember that Rhodes Island Operators are NOT your pets. As much as it is nice of you to try and measure 'fluffiness' for the sake of improving living conditions for our Operators, it is vital that you remember that some of them aren't ONLY working for us.**

**Miss Texas was gracious enough to look past you hugging her tail, but I don't think Miss Projekt Red appreciated it when you did it to her.**

**...neither Miss Lappland for that matter.**

**Nevertheless, please take care to ask for permission before you touch anyone else's tails again! Dr. Kal'tsit is still understandably angry, but I'll try to calm her down!**

**If you want, I'm more than willing to volunteer in your experiments next time!**

**Kal'tsit: Amiya, please don't.**


	4. Rhodes Island's Men Club

**\\\Rhodes Island Men's Club/**

Dedicated to all male personnel of Rhodes Island, in a sea of femininity, girls, and estrogen (Midnight: Plus hot chicks), the Rhodes Island Men's Club was created on the orders of our amnesiac Doctor (Noir Coirne: Aka, he converted an old closet into a club room, posted a sign on top, before dragging in every named male Operator he could get his hands on. Least the refreshments are free.) to provide a safe haven for all of the frustrated, testosterone-fueled men who reside on Rhodes Island (Steward: Wait, I thought this group was made for the purpose of one of Doctor's expe[REDACTED]).

Understandably, due to the fact that there are only seven members at the moment (Doctor: Eight if we count Ansel, who I still don't believe is a man.)(Ansel: Doctor, my file is on your desk. You forgot to read it...again.), not to mention the fact that the Men's Club meets at sporadic intervals, we of the Rhodes Island Men's Club have decided to vote in favor of having a better-organized schedule so that the Men's Club will be able to finally be able to gather together and have a proper meeting, like true men! This is a demand for the upper brass to look into the interests of the few manly men who reside and work with Rhodes Island, finally giving what we truly deserve! (Adnachiel: I don't really know what's going on, but I'm just here cuz Steward's here.)

This is why, of great and mighty Dragon Queen Kal'tsit, Breaker of Chains and Joy, the eternally and everlastingly amazing person who can grant us our wish (Spot: I got most of that from a manga, sounds cool right?), please give us the approval to move our future forward!

* * *

**Kal'tsit: Doctor, the one controlling their schedule is you. Remember that you're, unfortunately, part of the 'upper brass' as well. That includes management of what time certain Operators work at. **

**Please keep that in mind, especially since you thought it was a great idea to leave Ifrit alone in the Power Plant. As efficient she is at manipulating Originium, telling her to use 'more dakka' is not any logical form of proper instruction. **

**And for the fifth time, stop trying to assign me Assistant Duty. I know what you're really after.  
**

**Doctor: But I haven't touched your tail yet—!**

**Kal'tsit: No. **


	5. Kal'tsit

"_Exusiai, cover our Defenders as they retreat!"_

_"Apple Pie!"_

_"Exusiai, aim for those incoming Junkmen!"_

_"Rock'n Roll!"_

_"Exusiai, our Vanguard is having some difficulty with those drones. Can you take care of them?"_

_"Apple Pie!"_

* * *

"—and so concludes the recommendation for our next battle. Exusiai's combat prowess as of recently has been nothing short of spectacular, so I believe that we should take measures to utilize this method with utmost haste."

Kal'tsit leveled a steely look at Doctor, her expression showing absolutely nothing but the slightest hints of incredulity.

"So let me understand this… You believe that Exusiai's lifestyle is equivalent to her skills as a Sniper. And, if I might add, you are confident that _apple pie_ and _rock music_—"

"_Rock'n roll_," corrected Doctor. "It's important to say it like how Apple Pie says it."

"..." Kal'tsit took a moment to sigh, too tired to continue pushing that particular discussion. "—As I was saying, you believe that apple pie and rock music _specifically, _are the main reason for her advanced combat skills?"

There was only a nod from the Doctor as he pulled out another apple pie from the oven, it's crust gold and practically glistening in the ambient light of the kitchen.

"And because of this reasoning, that is why you've used the entirety of your salary, plus a little extra from Rhodes' own funds, on apple pie AND a family-wide subscription to a Victorian music station?"

"Yes."

He was lying. Kal'tsit knew _him_ too well to know if he was hiding anything from her.

"Is that really the truth? Or are you just lying in order to save your own hide?"

At that, Doctor stopped cutting another apple. There was a bit of silence afterwards, before Doctor spoke once more.

"I understand if you are angry for my actions. I won't make any excuses. But…" Doctor gestured towards the cafeteria. There, the few Ursan refugees Rhodes had managed to rescue amidst the ruins of Chernabog flocked about, intermingling with Rhodes Island Operators. Despite the smiles and words being exchanged, it wasn't too difficult for Kal'tsit to realize some of the refugees still wore haunted looks, the memories of events that had just been only a week ago still fresh in their minds.

...It didn't help that most of these individuals were middle schoolers. So young, _too_ young to be forced to witness events that would give any unprepared Operator PTSD.

Just like Amiya, who held the lives of thousands in her hands.

There was an unspoken conversation between the two doctors in the confines of Rhodes' recreational kitchen, the white-haired woman's fierce glare meeting the mask of her colleague. For a moment, there was a slight flicker of _something_ behind Kal'tsit's expression, an unreadable feeling behind her stern eyes.

"You understand, even if your intentions were pure, using funds dedicated for the benefit of patients of Rhodes for activities like this is tantamount to a crime. You could be stripped from your rank in Rhodes, even if Amiya wishes otherwise."

"If necessary," Doctor said, his tone uncharacteristically somber. "I will submit myself for disciplinary action. Even if Amiya protests, I won't take advantage of her kindness. Just, for the moment, let the children be children. Don't blame them for this."

...the same as ever. Almost like _he_ was still here.

Why did he have to be so damn earnest, even as an amnesiac?

"...No. That won't be necessary. After all, Amiya wouldn't be very happy with me if I followed through with any form of punishment for you."

She turned around, walking towards the exit.

"Just remember to clean up after this. I don't want to see even a single crumb left behind. Make sure to let Lancet assist you. I doubt you could do a proper job by yourself."

Before the Doctor could say another word, Kal'tsit left, her duties calling her to take care of the budding partnership between Rhodes and Lungmen.

...that didn't stop the ghost of a smile from appearing on her face.


	6. Closure

**Savage can't be upgraded. Much sadness.**

**On the plus side, I finally got the middle-schooler angry bear who roars 'cyka blyat.' Much happiness.**

* * *

It was commonly accepted by some of the residents of Rhodes Island that Closure was a suspicious individual.

It wasn't the fact she was a Sarkaz. It wasn't the fact that her traits were all too similar to the traits of the infamous Blood Drinkers, otherwise known as vampires. It wasn't even due to the fact she always somehow managed to replenish her store's stock, no matter how far Rhodes Island was from any habitable civilization, WITHOUT the use of Rhodes' drone system.

No, Closure was suspicious for the sheer reason she had never, not even once, charged any of the Doctor's purchases with Lungmen's monetary currency.

For those who didn't know or were curious about how to obtain the same privileges as the Doctor, they would always ask Amiya or Dr. Kal'tsit for any details, with not much success. For those members of Rhodes Island who were brave enough to ask Closure herself, they would be left in a daze and offer Jessica pitiful looks.

"Do you have the goods?" Doctor whispered, both hands folded over each other.

"Yes I do," Closure narrowed her eyes, the vampiric Sarkaz's expression dead serious. Any sign of her usual casual attitude was quashed under a stone-cold demeanor. She tapped the countertop patiently, responding with, "But, do you have the necessary funds to pay for them? You know I don't sell things for free."

Doctor whipped out his credit card, one hidden eye practically gleaming with unholy intensity at Closure's instant grin. He matched his eye level to that of Rhodes Island's resident shopkeep, one hand gesturing for Closure to seal her part of the deal.

"Now. As promised?"

Closure wordlessly reached underneath the countertop, pulling out a featureless white box, to which the Doctor gasped in a mixture of delight and terror.

It was an innocuous little thing, seemingly harmless to the outside viewer. The way Closure handled the package, however, made it feel like an illicit drug deal was taking place at this very moment.

...knowing the Doctor, it very well could have been cocaine.

"This is my rarest stock," Closure said ominously, red eyes practically gleaming in the dim lighting of the store. "While many have fought tooth and nail for the possession of the limited copies of this particular object, I saved this particular one for _you_ specifically. It's even rarer than the most Prime pieces of Originium, even more considering the fact you made it a specific order."

Doctor gulped, his fingers gripping on the card with a little more force than necessary. At that, Closure chuckled eerily, fangs easily visible from the toothy grin she was giving to the Doctor.

"How...much...do I have to pay?"

There was a momentary mock expression of thought from the vampire-girl before she responded.

"300 credit–"

The card was flung at Closure's face, with Doctor raising his fist in victory.

"–sold," Closure's muffled voice lamely finished. "It was a pleasure doing business with you. Please come again."

* * *

**Doctor's Notes: I have successfully acquired the necessary items for my next experiment! The trap has been laid and the bait has been set. The answer that had eluded me for so long is about to be revealed in this climactic finish–!**

**Amiya: Doctor, while I do appreciate your little gift, I am not quite sure what I am supposed to do with it. Please don't get me wrong, I do love the brown coat you've given me! But, while carrots are nice, now and then, I'm afraid I cannot finish all of these by myself. I've asked Miss Savage if she wanted to share, but she suddenly ran off to the armory with a scary look in her eyes.**

**Might you know why she was so upset? The last thing I heard from her was something about donkeys...**


	7. Liskarm

**Pingu didn't come home.**

**Much sadness in Rhodes Island today.**

* * *

Life as a Senior Operator of Rhodes Island wasn't all too different from life in Blacksteel. If anything, for Liskarm, her schedule was relatively the same.

Wake up. Physical training. Combat training with other Operators, including a sleepy Franka.

Wash up. Eat breakfast while catching up with the daily news. Handle any work or tasks that had been issued for the day, all while making sure Franka doesn't run off because she was 'allergic to boredom.'

Lunch. Firearms training with other Sniper Operators. Give Jessica some tips on shooting. Get exasperated when Franka tries to sneak alcohol into her drinks.

Dinner. Arts training with other Caster Operators. Maintenance on equipment. Finish up any unfinished business. Go to bed after making sure Franka covers her stomach.

Overall, it was a very simple schedule. Concrete, structured, and not much of a problem for her abilities. A perfectly ordered tradition Liskarm had managed to instill into herself both mentally and physically.

Yes. Even with Franka.

Today was a bit different, however, considering the fact that she had been assigned Assistant Duty with the Doctor. Originally, Liskarm wouldn't have put much thought into such a role; her years as a trainee at Blacksteel had required her to do her fair share of paper-pushing for senior Operators. Filing documents, doing nonvital paperwork, taking out the trash; all tasks that she has had plenty of experience doing.

However, Rhodes Island's Doctor was..._unique._

His behaviorisms after his impromptu 'popsicle-treatment' (as Franka had called it) had drastically turned the previously well-mannered researcher a sharp ninety degrees away from his original personality. While there were still some traces of the Doctor she had known from her first day at Rhodes, it was safe to say that many of the current Doctor's antics and experiments fulfilled the requirements of him being labeled 'clinically insane.' Or, as the Doctor had put it, 'going Co-Co for Cocoa Puffs.'

From Franka to Doctor, Liskarm wondered if some deity above was laughing at her misfortune as she vainly tried to act as an equalizer between two overwhelming forces of nature...

"Behold my power!"

"Oh, how scary!"

...like what was happening in front of her right now.

"Here I come, Franka! Be bedazzled by my ultimate technique!"

_*smack*_

"Hoh? You're approaching me, Doctor? Me, a Champion of BSW?! If so, prepare for _your_ defeat as I unleash my even _more_ flawless technique!"

_*plink*_

"Guh! Not bad...but I'm not finished yet! Take this my rival, my Shining Smash!"

_*tink*_

"As expected of my honorable adversary! You are truly a respectable opponent! In that case, I'll have to release my true power! Blacksteel Counter!"

**"Rabbit Punch!"**

**"Vulpine Retaliation!"**

**"DONKEY BARREL!"** Doctor howled sonorously.

**"100 DEGREE SWORD!"** Franka yelled cheerfully.

"Please get back to work," Liskarm sighed tiredly.

Doctor and Franka kept on shouting random inane names as they passed the ping-pong ball across Doctor's massive desk, seemingly too engrossed in their game to notice the exasperated Vouivre working in-between them. This game had been going on for the better part of the last thirty minutes she had started working, and, just as expected from a dysfunctional three-man team, the towering stacks of paperwork had barely a dent.

Miraculously, the ball hadn't yet interfered with Liskarm in her work. Whether it be due to luck, divine intervention, or some twisted mercy that Franka and the Doctor were giving her, the Blacksteel Defender had no intention of questioning how it had been that she hadn't gone insane from stress yet. Small blessings, she decided as she picked up her coffee mug to take a sip–

"**DYNAMIC CH–** ah, Liska-!"

_*splash*_

There was silence. Blessed, chilling _silence._

Doctor froze like a deer in headlights.

Franka's eyes shrank into dots.

The white ping pong ball bobbed lazily in a sea of coffee.

"..."

...and Liskarm's eyebrow twitched as coffee dripped from her face, an audible crackling emanating from her now, glowing blue, horns.

"...I'm sorry?" Doctor apologetically whimpered.

* * *

**Amiya: A brief notification to all Operators of Rhodes Island. Doctor's office is currently being remodified due to a work accident involving a stray electrical current from a frayed wire. Should any of you who have any appointments with the Doctor still wish to follow through, please go to storage closet B6 on the second floor.**

**Please keep in mind to take caution of any anomalies during your stay at Rhodes. If there is a problem, please do not hesitate to alert me, miss Closure, Dr. Kal'tsit (when she comes back from Lungmen), or Doctor of it. Let's learn from Doctor's experience and work together to make Rhodes Island a safer place!**

**I apologize for the inconvenience and wish you all a pleasant day.**


	8. Cuora

**Shirayuki is absolutely adorable.**

**Umu. **

* * *

It was a bloody battlefield. A scorched land of cataclysmic proportions laid waste by the numerous Catastrophes that assailed it relentlessly.

A bead of sweat trickled down Doctor's face, his teeth grit in a mixture of stress and frustration. One trembling hand clenched into a fist as another one of his remaining units was annihilated, turned to ash by a storm of hellfire. He could still hear the faint screams of his ally, burning away even more of his defenses to a crisp.

He raised his head towards the enemy commander, nothing but despair at the forefront of his mind as his eyes met the one who had crushed his forces with contemptuous ease.

Her eyes were half-lidded, almost mocking him with a smugness that beat against his already tattered pride. Her expression practically spoke volumes of how little she considered him, the chocolate in her mouth making audible crunches as it was devoured by the monster who had him at her mercy.

Truly, Doctor had picked the wrong battle to fight today. He made the mistake of underestimating his opponent, a mistake he was dearly paying for not realizing the underlying experience that lay within that tiny frame of a girl who ground him under her heel.

"Come on, Sir Rhodes Island! Make your move." The Petram said as she yawned. "We don't have all day, you know?"

"Guh…" Doctor shakily directed his last platoon forward, fingers unable to stop trembling even after he set the marker down. This was his final chance; if he could break through her line, he'd be able to have access to the weapon that would determine his chances of victory-!

His hope evaporated into sheer horror when the predator _grinned_.

_He had walked right into her trap._

'No...No…!' One by one, his remaining forces were torn apart. The beast devoured his allies and friends indiscriminately, jumping from one point to the next in search of its next victims. It had an insatiable appetite, only the relentless shedding of blood capable of quenching its endless thirst for blood.

Dreams were crushed.

Lives were torn away.

The battle was decided.

_He had lost._

Cuora smiled to herself as she stretched in her seat, clearly satisfied with her victory. "Ahhhhhh! Nothing like a great match of checkers to get the blood flowing! That was a great game, Sir Rhodes Island! You're a lot more fun to play with compared to most of the other people here! Ah, not that they aren't fun to play with too!"

Doctor twitched in his seat at the praise, still not quite in the world of the living to share the turtle's enthusiasm.

"Still, this room is pretty cramped. When did your office get so small? All people told me was that the sparky, shield lady exploded." At that, Cuora's eyes widened, pupils practically sparkling with intrigue. "Did...did you use magic? That's so cool, Mr. Rhodes Island!"

Doctor gave a response that sounded like the mixture of a whimper and a groan, his body still mimicking that of a dead fish.

"I wanna learn how to use magic too! That way, I can carry even more baseballs with me! Come on, you've got to teach me, Mr. Rhodes! While you do that, we can play another game of checkers–!"

At that, Doctor broke out of the closet, scaring the living daylights out of a passing-by Warfarin.

* * *

**Doctor: I had a lot of fun playing with Sir. Rhodes Island today! We played checkers, card games, and ate lots of yummy snacks! I want to play baseball next time! We should have more friends join us next time!**

**Amiya: Cuora, please don't use Doctor's terminal for things like this! This is a public messaging board!**

**Also can someone please convince Doctor that Miss Cuora isn't the spawn of...'Gamera?'**


	9. Silence

"**HAHAHAHA! MWA-HAHAHAHAHA! YEAAAAAAAAH!"**

Silence silently(heh) glowered at Doctor, the latter of which was currently looking at the carnage before him with nary a movement. All the while, a dazed Eyjafjalla stood by and stared blankly at the destruction her fellow Caster was wreaking, the screams of wayward Reunion soldiers barely perceptible for her failing hearing.

Actually, it was probably for the best if she couldn't hear much. The Caprina wasn't sure if she'd be able to hold in her lunch if she bore witness to any more than she could handle…

Thankfully for her, the Liberi Medic from Rhine Labs gently urged the young volcanologist away, before shooting an glare at a seemingly oblivious Doctor.

"Well," Silence factually stated, giving a sigh as her little devil torched another Reunion squadron with liquid fire. "As much as I am...happy to see that Ifrit likes you more, Doctor, I am most certainly **not ****pleased** with the resulting... outcome."

"**BURN BABY BUUUUURN!"**

"She's a monster! A lunatic!"

"G-get to the chopper–!"

"**AIN'T NONE OF YA ARE GONNA GET TO THE CHOPPA!"**

Doctor lent a sigh of his own, gesturing towards Ifrit, the latter currently _melting_ the aforementioned helicopter with fanatical glee.

"You did tell me to expose her to materials children of her age would like. As such, that was precisely what I did–"

"**HASTA LA VISTA, HERETICS! THE EMPEROR HAS DEEMED YOU UNWORTHY OF LICKING HIS BOOTS!" **Ifrit cackled as she grabbed a cowering Reunion soldier with one arm before _throwing_ him into the air, not paying any attention to his shrill shrieks of terror cutting off right when he landed with a *crunch*, eyes already targeting her next victim.

"–I did not expect her to be able to do that."

"Doctor," Silence gritted out, eyebrow twitching in a mixture of irritation and exasperation. "What... _Whose_ materials did you show Ifrit?"

"Well, as most of the things that I possess in my…office are currently unavailable (Silence knew all too well that Liskarm had something to do with that, considering the latter's refusal to talk for a week), I had to make do by asking some Operators who were similar to her physical age. It was difficult, but I did manage to find someone who did somewhat match Ifrit's temperament…"

"**FOR THE IMPERIUM OF MAN, WE SHALL DO THIS FOR MOTHER RUSSIA!"** an angry middle school bear roared, her axe bloodied and clearly hungry for more.

"...specifically Zima."

Silence face-palmed.

"A violent video game isn't something that I would consider 'proper,' for a girl like her. Especially one which shows graphic depictions of _demons_ being eviscerated."

"On the bright side, at least Ifrit's made more friends? She most certainly seems to be having fun."

"**I'M GONNA BASH THIS BLYAT'S HEAD IN!"**

"**RIP AND TEAR, COMRADE!"**

Silence face-palmed again, already regretting the future shenanigans Ifrit was going to get herself into. And for the first time in a long time, Silence desperately wished that Saria was here.

* * *

**And that's how you repair a divorce my friends.**


	10. Ansel

**Took a hiatus from Arknights, writing, and so and so forth. So if there are any drops in the quality of my writing, I do apologize.**

**But yee. I'm back.**

* * *

"I must be hallucinating."

"Doctor, I'm seeing the same thing that you are. You are not hallucinating."

"Nonsense my little bunny. I am obviously hallucinating. Closure must have snuck some raw Originium into my breakfast today."

"Doctor, **I'M** the one who was in charge of breakfast this morning. **I** served you your breakfast. Not to mention the fact that **I'M** the one Dr. Kal'tsit asked (read: ordered) to watch over you today. And please have more faith in Miss Closure; she's not one to sneak Originium into anyone's meals. And for that matter, why would YOU know what the effects of eating Originium ar-?" Ansel was cut off mid sentence when Doctor made a 'shhh' with his finger, the hooded man staring intently at the target of his woes. The pink-haired Cautus gave a sigh as he continued to stand, too tired to argue any more with his _questionably_ competent superior.

"If I am not hallucinating and this is real, then we are in a Catastrophic situation!" Doctor's visor glinted in the ambient light of the Rhodes Island Men's closet, a fist trembling in unrestrained fury. "Our safe haven has been invaded! A true beast has locked her claws into the sacred sanctity of this precious holy ground! Our manliness as men is being put into question!"

A finger pointed at the lioness who was lazily resting on the sofa before them. Doctor quickly retracted the appendage back into the safety of his cover, the medical professional trembling in place as he hyperventilated.

"It is a miracle that she hasn't seen us yet! Truly, Perfumer was a genius for gifting us this amazing plant!" Doctor patted the plant affectionately, to which Ansel could only sigh again.

"You know she can see us Doctor."

"Pish posh! That's impossible. You, maybe, but me? Absolutely ludicrous! This cover is absolutely impeccable!"

"I can see you," the lioness stated, a light amusement coloring her voice.

Ansel rubbed his forehead to stave off the growing migraine that was threatening to overcome his sanity, making a promise that when this was all over, he'd immediately go to bed after his shift ended. If this is what Dr. Kal'tsit had to deal with on a daily basis, then Ansel couldn't help but feel the respect for his mentor grow astronomically. Was this some sort of secret method that Kal'tsit used to train her interns to appreciate her even more?

If so, it was definitely working.

...he needed more sleep.

"Well, Doctor. What in the world are you going to do? Sitting behind that fern isn't going to do anything."

Doctor gave an inquisitive look towards Ansel, eyes practically glowing red from behind his visor.

"Is that so? Then what do you suggest, little bunny?"

"Well...you could just ask her to leave?"

At that, all froze still.

Doctor remained silent for a while, with Ansel feeling an insurmountable amount of dread building up from within him. Every inbred instinct in his body was practically screaming at him that something was coming. Something incredibly dangerous, so terrifying that he should quickly evacuate from the area at once.

With second after painful second, Doctor quietly rose from behind his plant, all pretenses of fear now absent from his stance.

"...what have I been doing? Such an answer...it was right before me this entire time..."

Ansel let out an involuntary squeak when he was subject to the intense gaze of the Doctor, both hands clamped right on his shoulders.

"Ansel! You truly are a genius! It is true; I must properly communicate to resolve this situation! This problem can only be resolved if I respect our intruder- no, our _friend_'s customs to the fullest extent! I've been so blind as to not attempt to understand her, so I shall rectify that mistake right now!"

The pink bunny blinked slowly, before coming up with a response.

"...ah...ok."

Doctor swiftly turned towards the resting lioness, before walking towards her, a burning purpose behind each and every step that he took. It was only at that point that Ansel regained enough of his composure to address the dread that he was feeling at that very moment.

"Erm...Doctor? What are you planning?"

"I read in an article that Victoria is a society that prides strength above all else. Considering Siege's background, it is only right that I match my strength against hers!" Doctor flashed Ansel a thumbs up, a manly confidence burning from within him. "It is my duty, as the leader of the Rhodes Island Men's Club! I must use my incredible manliness to lead my men into the darkness ahead! Let my sacrifice provide you purpose to move forward!"

At that, Doctor pointed at the attentive Siege, conviction layered in his voice.

"Now, Siege! I challenge you to a dual of strength! I have beat mighty devils, dragons, doggies, and kitties alike! Let the name 'Doctor' be burned into your memory, for our battle shall be legendary! Here I come!"

* * *

**Amiya: Attention all Personnel of Rhodes Island. **

**Due to... unfortunate circumstances, Doctor is currently suffering from a concussion and will be unavailable for consultation for the rest of the day. **

**Please also be aware to watch your footing for your own safety, especially in small rooms. Small objects can become hazards if left on the ground, especially small potted plants. Simply picking up a stray object and placing it in an area that will not cause an accident can be an enormous factor in keeping your fellows safe from any unfortunate circumstances. **

**Let's do our best to make Rhodes Island a safer place for everybody!**

**Kal'tsit: Doctor, your office is fixed now. Now finish your work.**


End file.
